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The Role of Collars in BDSM

June 3, 2020

As with any part of BDSM, there’s much more to it than meets the eye. That’s very much so the case with BDSM collars.

They have many meanings and can be worn on many occasions. We guarantee that, after reading this article, you’ll look at all necklaces differently. Why? The existence of day collars within the vanilla world will, for sure, throw you off. Suddenly your friendly neighbor next door might be into Dom/Sub relationships because they have a “suspicious” looking necklace.

We’re here to try and present the BDSM community in a positive light. There’s a lot of stigma and misconceptions surrounding this subculture, but everything is not what it seems. This community is all about trust and consent. That doesn’t sound like what you were imagining, does it?

There are many parts to BDSM — the act of collaring is but a drop in the ocean. It’s a fun (and meaningful) way to represent “leveling up” within a relationship. It can even result in a permanent collar!

BDSM Definition

There are many misconceptions about the BDSM world. Many myths that will likely turn you away from exploring it. So before we get into anything else, let’s see what BDSM actually is.

BDSM is a term that encompasses three groups (or types, rather) of sex play: Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. Each of these types is unique and requires different kinds of things.

This might come as a surprise to some, but BDSM is all about safety. Comfort, consent, and aftercare are mandatory, as well. So it’s not really an orgy of people dressed head-to-toe in leather, whipping each other into exhaustion. Sure, it can be that too.

Primarily, BDSM is fun, kinky, and consensual sex between two (or more) individuals. In some cases, it doesn’t need to involve sex at all!

We hope that now you have a better understanding of what BDSM actually is

Why Do People Engage in BDSM?

Whether you’re familiar with BDSM or not, one can’t help but wonder why people do it?

There are many reasons why. Some people simply enjoy the kind of play that is common within the subculture and which they cannot get with vanilla partners. But actually, it has a lot of health benefits too and can knock your bad habits out.

How? Say you’re a bit of a control freak. Surrendering that control to a Dom can help snap you out of it. Or maybe you have trust issues. Trusting someone enough to let them do things to you can be liberating in that case.

Some people simply like pain. Inflicting or receiving pain can be arousing to them, and there’s a lot of stigma surrounding that in regular relationships. Those people find comfort and a feeling of belonging within the BDSM community. There’s nothing wrong with having kinks; we all have them. Some people are just turned on by different things.

The Symbolism of Collars in BDSM

Now we can focus on the actual subject of this article, and that’s BDSM collars.

Collaring fits within the “Bondage and Discipline” BDSM group, but also the “Domination and Submission” group. Submissive collars (also called slave collars) have very significant meaning in the Dom/Sub relationship. Here’s how it works.

There are different types of collars, and they all have different meanings:

  • Training collars are precisely what you think they are. Slave training is an essential part of dom/sub relationships because it defines how your relationship is going to work.
  • Pet play collars are also easy to understand. However, since some couples do not engage in pet play, this collar can be completely out of the picture.
  • Protection collars are worn so that other single Doms know to stay away from the collared sub.
  • Day collarscan be many things. A simple piece of jewelry will do, but it must fit into the vanilla world.
  • Permanent collars can be as serious as wedding rings. They can also have a lock and key.

Bondage collars are also in play, and some feature a hoop for a BDSM leash. They look like your regular choker necklaces, but they can be much more than that.

Who Wears a BDSM Collar?

This one is easy — Submissives wear BDSM collars in Dom/Sub relationships.

Which collar you’re wearing depends on your relationship status. The training period can last a long time or be short-lived. For most of the couples, a collar is something you have to earn. Being worthy of one is a must for some. For others, earning it is a trivial thing. In short, it’s very subjective.

However, there’s also the act of self-collaring. Maybe you don’t have a Dom, but you once enjoyed the feeling of wearing a collar. Nothing and nobody is hindering you from collaring yourself. It can give you the new-found confidence and sense of self-ownership you might lack or need.

Collars do have distinct meanings. But they’re generally for Submissives and people within the BDSM community looking to tackle something new. Still, anyone can give them a try.

Summary

We hope that you can now see the idea behind BDSM and collaring. Think of collars as stage markers in a relationship.

The same way you go from simple dating to being more serious and then, at last, to engagement, the concept of collaring remains the same. Except it’s in a slightly sexual, kinky way.

Don’t let the stigma surrounding the BDSM community drive you away from it. It’s not all people in gimp suits, unsafety, and pain. The ways of BDSM might still scare you, but, again, there’s absolutely no need for fear.

All you need to do is put a little time into educating yourself about something new. So we’re here to provide you with that and especially what collars mean. You can propose the idea of collaring to your partner and see if he’s into it. You don’t have to call it BDSM if you’re not ready, but you can make it a little practice.

That way, you’ll be able to see where you stand and whether you belong to the BDSM community or not. For all your collar needs, and other BDSM things you love, you can go to https://lovegasm.co/collections/submissive-collars.